The Retreat

@nathanalleman

249

OK, I ignored this course for years, but based on recent reviews that described how awesomely bad it is, I decided to check it out. Indeed, there are bad courses that are simply boring, like all those 9 hole Jr high school courses that are just a bunch of baskets out in a field. These should be ignored. But some courses are bad because the logic that governed the effort to design and build it is unfathomable. Such is The Retreat. The property itself is both compelling and cautionary: a nob of a hill, steep on all sides and mostly surrounded by houses, meaning errant shots have only dangerous places to land. Hole 1 is straight up a gravel path with a tangled mess of thorns and brush along the left. It's a par 5 at only 373', but you will need all of it. Most of the rest of the holes are sub-200', which seems fine, except several holes (3,5), drop off dramatically on the right toward houses that are very much in play. At the same time, however, the top of the hill, after the brutal climb, is charming, a grassy plateau with some mature trees, and incredible vistas out three directions, including toward the peak. What a great spot for local youths to consume age-restricted beverages and engage in other questionable behavior together! What's most impressive is the work someone put into placing a course in a spot so poorly suited for one. Baskets, the horrible old 16 chain type, were installed on this rocky hillside with great effort. Pads, too small and lined with gravel (terrible for planting your feet), were carefully leveled and framed. Signs with numbers were deliberately bolted INSIDE the baskets to the pole, meaning a good putt can make a lot of noise and at worst, could kick out off it. To top it off, the one hole reviewers love (9), was missing the basket. Well played. And yet, the views are so great, and a few of the throws (and accompanying danger) just fun enough to make it worth playing. So, check it out, but don't say you weren't warned.

@jkseitz

65

The retreat is truly one of the course of all time. I’ve played some of the best courses in the world, and some not so best courses, but no course has moved me to take the time to write a review until this one. Because if this was simply a bad course, I’d drop one start and move along, but not this one. The real tragedy is that there’s actually a decent pitch and putt course with unique angles and a variety of shots. But then there’s the everything else. Absurd cliffs, impossibly thorny rough, signs IN THE BASKET, and so much more. If you ignore the bottomless pit waiting to swallow your disc on every hole and the ever looming threat of property damage, there’s actually a decent course with incredible views buried beneath. But this is a course that happens when someone decides to ignore fundamentals like “make sure someone’s window doesn’t get broken when you shank your drive” Great views though